Can’t Touch This

by | Oct 9, 2024 | Coaching Tips Series | 0 comments

When I used to work in my parent’s local grocery shop, so much of what I did was tangible.

Slice up the ham to the thickness each customer preferred. Bag up the potatoes into 5lb bags, using those scales with the big metal bowl, like they have at markets.

And here’s me showing my age: carrying that 20kg bag of coal out to the customer’s car because some cottages in our village still had their old coal fires.

Actually, I’m not that old, I just started working at a young age. Family business. Need I say more?

A delightful aspect of it was working in the sweets section.

We used to sell penny sweets, and sweets from a jar. Some kids would come in and spend their 10 pence one penny at a time: choose a one penny sweet, give me 10 pence, collect their change, then go back and buy their next one penny sweet. Until they had spent the entire 10 pence.

How could you be anything other than patient when a 5-year-old has come to the shop and is doing their own shopping?

And I liked showing them how to count.

All tangible stuff. I got to do things with my hands and saw the results of my work immediately.

And then there was the other side to the work.

Listening to the old lady come who came in every morning to buy her newspaper and have a natter. She’d stay for at least half an hour. I’d serve other customers in between, your conversation pausing each time to make room for the next person, then picking back up where we left off.

Or talking about the state of the world with the local mechanic, giving him a space to set the world to rights, before heading off home.

Or when the Fred West story hit the news (just down the road in Gloucester) listening to every customer come in and tell the same jokes, as they processed and dealt with the horror. And each time, showing appreciation for the joke as if I was hearing it for the first time.

All that intangible part of the work of a shopkeeper: the experience people get when they come to your shop.

These days, my work as a leadership coach and trainer is almost all intangible. It’s about creating the experience for growth, insight, transformation.

I do my work and then someone else’s life is better. Just like in the shop, but now I don’t get to see the physical result.

Which is why I love gardening. Hibiscus is out of control? Get the choppers, prune, et voilΓ ! The shrub is smaller and healthier.

Bare patch of ground? Stick some potatoes in, water, and watch as the shoots come up.

And these days, it’s why I’m madly in love with embroidery. I get to be mindful as I create beautiful things. After an hour of losing myself in the process, I can lean back, hold the cloth in my hands, and see the new stitches that I placed there.

Apart from keeping me sane, it’s giving me joy.

So why am I writing to you about this?

Because most of your job is intangible, too.

You are creating impact through others, just like I am. And there can be a long time between doing the work, and seeing the results (the project manager’s curse).

All of this work that you do matters. And your soul needs, every now and then, for you to be able to hold something in your hands and feel the joy as you say “I made this”.

And another thing.

It comes in the coaching sessions. So many of you tell me of the challenge of making time for your hobbies and creative pursuits. Work load rises, urgent things come up. And you do what we all do: put aside the fun stuff, just for a bit.

But that “just for a bit” can turn into a really long time.

Getting to the point

I am here to remind you, just like I needed to remind myself: do the creative thing. Make the thing.

Not to be dramatic (but totally being dramatic) your soul needs it.

Your work needs it.

You need it.

p.s. and if you’ve got the lyrics of at least two songs running through your head now, then you were paying attention.

This post is part of my special Coaching Tips Series. This series was inspired by my clients and the core themes in their challenges. When we can apply these tips, we bring a lot of ease into our lives and step into our leadership. Want to talk it through with me? Call me and let’s make a Game Plan together.

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