One day I had a conversation about this with a GM, the next with an aspiring team lead. They both had the same question. Odds are that you’ve asked this question too.
How Do I Stop The Negative Thinking Driven Actions?
Comparing yourself to others, and how they are doing it better than you. How they are further ahead than you. More successful. More… everything than you.
Self doubt, like thinking you are not enough. Making a decision then worrying you’ve made the wrong one. Never sure that you fit, belong, have what it takes.
Focus on tasks that don’t move you towards your goal, but they are easy to do and keep you busy. And busy is good, right? but this just zaps your time and energy.
Both the GM and aspiring team lead realised that doing the following was the answer:
- Focus on and create your own definition of a leader (inc behaviours)
- Compare yourself to that definition (and to no one else)
- Develop and strengthen those behaviours.
Sounds Easy Right?
So how come we aren’t able to do it? Simple: you can’t take action on the solution while all that negative thinking is going on in your head.
You can’t do it alone. You need a voice outside your head that helps you do it.
That’s what the coaching with me was for. They knew what they needed to do. It’s just really hard to see yourself clearly.
They asked for help when they hired me. I helped them not just with coaching, but also with training in how to interrupt the negative thinking and snap out of it. Training on how to shift into their wisest selves.
And that’s when they stayed focused on what they needed to stay focused on.
This blended coaching and mental fitness training works.
So if you’re struggling, then the problem is obvious. You’re trying to do it alone.
So ask for help.
This post is part of my special Coaching Tips Series. This series was inspired by my clients and the core themes in their challenges. When we can apply these tips, we bring a lot of ease into our lives and step into our leadership. Want to talk it through with me? Call me and let’s make a Game Plan together.