When I say feedback, what do you think of? Is it criticism? Negative comments about your behaviour or performance, what you’re doing wrong? Or maybe constructive comments on what you could do to improve?
Same. Usually that is where my mind goes to: what am I doing wrong, what can do better.
And I’ve just done this feedback exercise that was incredible. Got valuable information on where to focus and grow.
And there was nothing negative about it AT ALL.
I’m doing B School because it’s helping me focus on an aspect of my work that I reluctantly yet persistently do: marketing.
And an exercise we were tasked with was to gather feedback, with a very specific question.
So I sent out this message:
“I’m taking Marie Forleo’s B-School business program and she’s challenged me to find out my 3 strongest, best qualities. My ‘superpowers’ if you will. I’m really curious to hear what you think.
From the outside looking in, what do you believe are my 3 best, strongest qualities?
What do you come to me for or where do you see me offering substantial value to others?”
I was nervous sending it out, and yes my inner critic whispered about how arrogant a thing to ask, and was I seeking validation etc. But I ignored that voice and sent it out anyway.
And it was incredible.
I learned so much from the responses, most specifically what other people valued in me.
As leaders we need to believe in our selves and own our value. Absolutely.
And we need to know what we give to others that is of value to them.
And what my clients, past and present, value from me is:
- listen intuitively and understand them
- making them feel safe yet still challenging limiting beliefs
- insightful questions that hit the mark and help them think, so they keep moving forward
and I was deeply touched when one person said “you are an example of kind leadership, and you encourage that in your clients – at least how I see it. Like Jacinda Ardern”. I deeply admire Jacinda Ardern and if I have even just a little bit of her leadership style I’m happy. I grinned like a fool reading that.
I’m a big believer that it is a more effective use of your time to develop your strengths rather that fight your weaknesses, so this information gives me the path forward for growth.
I can now pursue these questions:
- What do I need to keep being an excellent listener? where do I need to take care of myself so I can use this superpower consistently, no matter what?
- Which client needs more challenge? Who needs more safety?
And what I love about this is that it sin’t about fixing myself, it’s about being more of myself.
and that is the bright side of feedback: getting to have more impact by being more authentic.
So try it out. Pick a list of 10 people and ask them this question.
So on, go get this feedback about your superpowers so you can use them more, and feel good knowing that you are giving people value.
And grin like a fool as you read the responses.
This post is part of my special Coaching Tips Series. This series was inspired by my clients and the core themes in their challenges. When we can apply these tips, we bring a lot of ease into our lives and step into our leadership. Want to talk it through with me? Call me and let’s make a Game Plan together.