Have you ever had dealings with someone that’s left you thinking
The audacity of this bitch.
(suck teeth noises).
Then like me, you probably were saying yes to something when you should have said no.
We are never more shocked by someone’s behaviour, then when they do exactly what we expected they would do.
Consider my post from last week. While assessing needs and solutions with a potential client, I had a strong NO building inside of me.
While I want people to be excited to work with me (it’s so much better for us all when we are all really keen), it’s so much more important that people are receptive to learning.
Basically everything I do is about learning. Its transformational. It requires you to change the way you think and behave.
And that means you’ve got to do the work.
You’ve got to commit.
We’ll make sure it’s fun, practical, and will have positive impact for you, and your team.
But if you don’t want to do that, then there is no point in hiring me. You’ll waste your money if you resist what you’re buying from me.
If you want to pay someone else to give you a tick the box kind of training, go ahead, have at it.
But that’s not what I’m about.
So I had this needs assessment and solutions discussion with a potential client and I wasn’t convinced that they were ready to do the work. Too many flags.
Yet they had reached out. They knew and accepted that they had an issue, and seemed willing to invest time and money to address it.
So I swallowed my own No, and proceeded to create the proposal they asked for. I genuinely believe that what I was offering would help them get unstuck so that they could fulfil their potential. They had all the ideas, they were just getting in their own way by not having some key skills.
And I could see their intention was good. They were reaching out and trying.
So when I got a breezy email just hours before the proposal was due (of course I had completed it, I’m a professional) telling me “oh, we’re kinda hesitating so we’re not going to look at your proposal, so don’t bother sending it”…..
The disrespect of my time to leave it to the last minute, and then dismiss it all so casually. Sigh. If they’d just said no thanks earlier I’d have been fine. I respect directness and honesty.
Not gonna lie, I was a pissed though. But mostly at myself. I had felt a No, and I pushed it aside. They just showed the same disrespect to me that I had already shown to myself.
I think it was the slap in the face that I personally needed because I know this, and yet I had slipped back into an old habit.
If you’re like me, you’ve spent a lot of your life saying yes to things just because you are capable of doing it. And if you’re capable, you should just do it right?
A mix of pleaser, hyper-achiever, and wanting to do good in the world. But it has a huge cost. It’s exhausting and leaves little time for what you really want.
One of the things I’m most proud of about myself is that I’ve learned to say no. I’m not perfect, as this story shows, but I more consistently say no when I mean no.
I want to flip this meme to make it about me. I want people to say “the audacity of this bitch” about me. With a smile. Because I’m clear, confident, and make my own choices. I’m quick to say no and leave money on the table because that’s the right choice for me.
Wanna join me?
Then Obama will write this book about me
This is part of my Thought Piece Series, where I explore topics related to leadership and provide both answers and questions. My intention is to start meaningful conversations that help us move forward. Want to connect? Click here