What’s Your Beef?

by | Dec 1, 2021 | Thought Piece Series | 0 comments

I’ve started listening to this podcast: Sh**ged Married Annoyed by Chris and Rosie Ramsey.
I’m seriously late to the party on this one as they’re on episode 144 and are doing a stadium tour for their podcast. Can you believe it?

Their description of it is:
The only way Rosie and Chris can have a conversation without being interrupted by a toddler or ending up staring at their phones is by doing a podcast. They’ll be chatting all about life, relationships, arguments, annoyances, parenting, growing up and everything in between. Each week they will answer questions from the public and a secret celebrity.

I’m on episode 4 and I’m loving it. It’s making me cackle out loud, and we all need that in our lives.

So why am I writing about this in my leadership blog?

There are a few things actually.
Co-Leading – they do it really well. Listen and see if you can tell who is the “boss”. You can’t because they both are. Authenticity. Presence. Conflict management. Creativity. So many things.

But I want to focus on my favourite bit: What’s the beef?
This is where they take it in turns to tell each other “right, this is how you’re annoying me”.
And then they talk about it.

It’s hilarious. The “beefs” are recognisable. They include those little things that really get on your t*ts and drive you nuts, but maybe feel like they are too small and maybe petty to talk about. But they talk about them anyway.

There are apologies, there are jokes. Each gets to share their point of view or reason. They don’t have to agree. Nobody gets to be right.

And after doing this for a while they’ve both stated that their relationship is better.
Because they talk about it.

And it’s not just that they talk about it.
Because we’ve all been a situation that has started as a “let’s sort this out by talking” and it’s quickly spiralled down into a fight. Both at home and at work. We’re human, we get caught up in our emotions, and most of us haven’t learned how to fight effectively. (there’s a book about this, when I remember what it is, I’ll do another post. If you know, tell me please)

It’s also how they talk to each other about the annoyances.
There is no finger-pointing or blame undertones.
There’s openness. They do it while they are calm or can see the humour in it. The genuine annoyance is there, but it’s tempered by respect and affection for each other.

To me, it seems that’s it done in the vibe of my favourite Alain de Botton quote, and I paraphrase:
“we’re all idiots… let the idiot in you make friends with the idiot in them”.

Accepting each other’s flaws as part of life, and accepting that you can still get annoyed by them.

They are genuinely respectful of each other and are clearing the air.

Can you imaging how much better working relationships would be if we could do this?
I don’t mean company-mandated “what’s the beef?” sessions in the Friday morning stand up. Urgh, how ghastly! (companies should stop mandating how we behave with each other. They should teach by doing instead. Stepping off my soapbox now).

Maybe there’s one person that you feel that you can do a “what’s the beef” session with. Tell them about the podcast. Listen to it. Share the beefs.

And have fun with it.

This is part of my Thought Piece Series where I explore topics related to leadership and provide both answers and questions. My intention is to start meaningful conversations that help us move forward. Want to connect? Click here

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